In the midnight hour babe...he cries MORE MORE MORE

"Sleep when the baby sleeps" they will tell you. Only your brutally honest best friend will tell you that sleep is simply a sweet, sweet memory from your previous life which can now be defined as "worrying with your eyes closed." There may be times you cross the threshold into sheer exhaustion that you wake up heart racing searching for where you left your baby, but most of the time, especially if you are nursing a newborn, you are waiting with your eyes closed. For me, right now, I wait for the blood curdling  "I"M STARVING YOU MONSTER, I HAVEN'T EATEN IN AN HOUR" screech.

Why start a blog? 

Another overused saying you hear when you become pregnant is to "cherish each moment because they grow so fast." I am 5 weeks post-partum and barely even remember being pregnant (although my body sure as hell hasn't quite forgotten). That growing baby sucks your brain cells and memories right out of you and turns it into fuel-you will later find out this fuel is called menaconin, a black tar your sweet new baby will excrete days after delivery. Anyway, I keep asking friends and family "is this normal? did your kid do that? should I worry about this?" and although a ton of the time I get great feedback, a lot of the time these mamas often suffering from sleep deprivation, undernourishment, and often self neglect, simply cannot remember what happened. 

I want to remember it all, good and bad. "Having a baby is a life changing experience" another cliche that packs more truth than one can comprehend until they are on the other side wondering where their former self went. I already love my life as a mom, but sometimes I find myself mourning my life as me too. The transition into motherhood  is severely emotional and hey maybe I am just looking for an outlet.